Sorrow

Sometimes I have such sorrow in my heart. I'm going to break from my normal posts and use this to vent a little.

It's unbelievable to me how intangible something so very important can be. Like friendship or love. What proof do we really have of either? Tonight I went in search of some proof and came up with nothing. And that bothers me to no end. It bothers me that you can spend hours upon hours, day after day with someone and you have nothing tangible to show for it. An occasional picture, a random email, although you spent time and energy and emotion on someone, you really have nothing to hold from them. A memory, a feeling and that's about it. I have such sorrow over what is lost and wish I had something to hold, so at least that thing would evoke a memory, but there's nothing.
I blame myself for not holding precious more of what I searche for tonight. I blame the other for being lost. Most of all, I blame the other for not placing an importance on friendship or love and not holding both close to them and not having sorrow in their heart at the loss of both.
Now all I have to hold is my sorrow.....what good is that?